Psalm 124...

I LIFT MY EYES UP

Brian Doerksen

Verse:

I lift my eyes up

to the mountains

where does my help come from,

My help comes from you

Maker of heaven

Creator of the earth;

Chorus:
Oh how I need you Lord

You are my only hope

You're my only prayer,

So I will wait for you,

to come and rescue me

come and give me life.

This is an amazing song,

Especially at this point of time in my life,

It speaks about who I can turn to whenever I need help,

whenever i Need ANYTHING...

What's more, my window faces Mount Kinabalu,

which makes it much more 'applicable' and meaningful to me,

especially when I can see the sun rising from behind the mountains each morning...

The sun indeed reminds me of the Glory of God,

and as each new day comes,

His Mercies Are New Every MOrning...

I am going through i period of time where I am seriously out of my comfort zone...

I could even say I hate being taken out of the security I was in before...

But through this,

I believe GOd is helping me to learn to rely on HIm totally...

Someone told me that I am like the Israelites,

who went in the wilderness for 40 years,

as God wanted them to realise who their God is,

and to learn to rely and depend on Him totally...

Back home,

I have super loving parents,

I had my siblings around,

I have Aunty Vicky who cared so much for me,

I have my Grandma and Aunties and Uncles,

I have all my cousins who are close to me,

I have my friends espcially those who are in Yf who I've established such a deep relationship with,

and that kept me going and helped me look forward each week when I was back home,

I loked forward to weekends especially,

where it was a time of building relationships with each one...

BUt now,

God 'took' that away from me,

I'm still learning to make friends,

and even the friends I meet just arent the same as back home...

The relationship isn't there yet,

My greatest struggle now is not experiencing the close knitted relationships I had back home,

the sense of security,

comfort,

THE LOVE...

It was easy being me,

being who I am and not being afraid of not being accepted...

Now, it's all different...

Everything that I hold so dear,

is a "SOUTH CHINA SEA" apart...

BUt the story doesnt end by saying I am DEPRESSED...

HEhe,

I am actually fine...

In fact,

I am better than I ever expected,

and It has nothing to do with me,

and ALL TO DO WITH GOD...

He is the one sustaining me here...

I do have lots of down times,

I do have lots of home sick moments,

but then,

God has placed me here in the wilderness,

IT's MY TIME TO LEARN TO TRUST IN HIM...