pERuBaHaN..

"Don't just change enough to get away from your problems;

change enough to SOLVE it.

Don't just change your circumstances to improve your life;

change yourself to IMPROVE circumstances.

Don't do the same things expecting different results;

get different results by doing something NEW.

Don't see change as something hurtful that must be done;

see it as something helpful that CAN be done.

Don't avoid paying the immediate price tag of change;

if you do, you will pay the ULTIMATE PRICE OF NEVER IMPROVING."

Dr John Maxwell

This was part of my quiet time today,

It's a very meaningful, true yet scary TRUTH to face...

I am not writing this because I've learnt to accomplish that,

IN FACT,

it's the direct opposite...

Change, Sigh,

AHHHHH!!!!!

CHANGE, DOUBLE SIGH....

Change to me is such a big TABOO word...

Deep down, I can say I HATE change,
whether is because of my personality,

or watever,

deep down I resent change...

I just dislike it lar...

I love my life the way it is...

Back home,

my routine is fun, cool, enjoyable and satisfying...

Dont you ever touch my routine or I'll BITE!!!

Hehe...

That's me lar...

I just give one simple example,

Sports back home to me is an untouchable time...

4pm till 7pm,

I just have to be at sports during that time...

It's one of the peek moments of my week,

where I get to not only exercise,

but be able to spend time and catch on different people I get to meet there...

Sigh,

i do LOVE those times...

I get quite upset when something crops up during that time and I have to forgo sports...

Last time, whenever it rained during a Sunday afternoon,

I would be so super angry cursing the rain...

Haha,

though I am better at it now,

I can admit I still struggle to accept change...

And today, the challenge is not only to acccept it,

BUT PURSUE IT...

Wow,

This is super tough to me,

It's a real challenge to me,

especially now that my entire "back home" routine has changed COMPLETELY...

God has been gracious though,

I didnt expect myself to survive till this today...

I was expecting depression and ultra-homesickness...

BUt some how God has helped me pull through...

Am reminded again that GROWTH is crucial...

Either you GROW, or DETERIORATE...

This is reality,

We live in a world that changes with TIME...

HOw then can we continue to stay the 'same' to live in "this TIME",

sooner or later we will be "outdated"...

I dont mean change according to the world...

I mean CHANGE From Glory to Glory in CHRIST...

A CHANGE of HEart from day to day...

And how do we do it?

Ask the Lord...

"CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART; OH GOD, AND RENEW A RIGHT SPIRIT WIHTIN ME."

Psalm 51:10

Only He can help change a person,

Only He has the power to Change you and ME...

But it starts with a CHOICE....

DO we want to CHANGE when God asks us to?

Do we want to at least LEARN to step out of our COMFORT ZONE?

Or do we want to just be SUBBORN???

It's super hard...

I know,

Am struggling myself....

But only when we decide to surrender ourselves to GOd's CHANGE,

will we see wonders in our life,

Only then can we become effective,

Only then we will learn to TRULLY LIVE...

ONLY WHEN WE CHANGE,

can we

CHANGE THE WORLD!!!!!

Psalm 124...

I LIFT MY EYES UP

Brian Doerksen

Verse:

I lift my eyes up

to the mountains

where does my help come from,

My help comes from you

Maker of heaven

Creator of the earth;

Chorus:
Oh how I need you Lord

You are my only hope

You're my only prayer,

So I will wait for you,

to come and rescue me

come and give me life.

This is an amazing song,

Especially at this point of time in my life,

It speaks about who I can turn to whenever I need help,

whenever i Need ANYTHING...

What's more, my window faces Mount Kinabalu,

which makes it much more 'applicable' and meaningful to me,

especially when I can see the sun rising from behind the mountains each morning...

The sun indeed reminds me of the Glory of God,

and as each new day comes,

His Mercies Are New Every MOrning...

I am going through i period of time where I am seriously out of my comfort zone...

I could even say I hate being taken out of the security I was in before...

But through this,

I believe GOd is helping me to learn to rely on HIm totally...

Someone told me that I am like the Israelites,

who went in the wilderness for 40 years,

as God wanted them to realise who their God is,

and to learn to rely and depend on Him totally...

Back home,

I have super loving parents,

I had my siblings around,

I have Aunty Vicky who cared so much for me,

I have my Grandma and Aunties and Uncles,

I have all my cousins who are close to me,

I have my friends espcially those who are in Yf who I've established such a deep relationship with,

and that kept me going and helped me look forward each week when I was back home,

I loked forward to weekends especially,

where it was a time of building relationships with each one...

BUt now,

God 'took' that away from me,

I'm still learning to make friends,

and even the friends I meet just arent the same as back home...

The relationship isn't there yet,

My greatest struggle now is not experiencing the close knitted relationships I had back home,

the sense of security,

comfort,

THE LOVE...

It was easy being me,

being who I am and not being afraid of not being accepted...

Now, it's all different...

Everything that I hold so dear,

is a "SOUTH CHINA SEA" apart...

BUt the story doesnt end by saying I am DEPRESSED...

HEhe,

I am actually fine...

In fact,

I am better than I ever expected,

and It has nothing to do with me,

and ALL TO DO WITH GOD...

He is the one sustaining me here...

I do have lots of down times,

I do have lots of home sick moments,

but then,

God has placed me here in the wilderness,

IT's MY TIME TO LEARN TO TRUST IN HIM...

EcoNoMics... Part 1(selfishness)

Am in the campus library now,
It's the best place in Uni for internet connection and comfort...
Hehe,
anywayz,
just finished my first Economics class...
So far, of all the classes,
I would say I enjoy this class the most so far....
The lecturer is so cool,
He has this amazing Indian accent when he teaches,
He's also quite funny and he makes his class as interesting and interactive as possible...
Being introduced to Economics for the first time(never taken economics as a subject before),
I found out now that it is actually a lot to do with common sense...

Definition for Economics:
"It's a social study on how individuals or institutions and society make optimal choices under conditions of scarcity"

To put it simply,
Economics,
is a study of
HOW PEOPLE MAKE CHOICES....

When the lecturer was giving examples and giving us a first day introduction to subject,
something HIT me into thinking(Yes, I was still paying attention to the lesson)....
The Comic of Calvin and Hobbes(which is one of my favorite comics btw) above speaks a thousand words to what really HIT me during class....

I personally believe everyone is a great Economist...
Why?
Because we are all born as selfish beings on this earth....
We crave for what we want,
we get frustrated, angry and bitter when we cant get it...
Most of the times we have a hidden agenda or motive into doing something....
This in economic terms is called,
Marginal Analysis...
People analyze on what they can obtain if they buy a certain product,
or if they invest in a certain company,
or even if they do something for a friend....
It is all the selfish nature of a human being...
We are taught in class that Never ever let the Cost(sacrifice) be greater than the Benefit(fruit)...

So my question is this...
Is hidden motive fully a bad thing??
Aren't we all driven by something in order to do something??
It's like the law of linear motion, without any force applied to a certain object,
it stays at an unchanged position,
but only with a push, will it move...
Then don't we humans need a "push" too??
To a certain extend selfishness is bad....
But is there a certain level of "selfishness" that moves it into the Grey area??
Hmmmm....

I will only post my response in part 2...
Feel free to help me....
Hehe...
God Bless...

a GLimpse oF LiFe

Beyond the horizon lies my destination for now...

Oh Lord, what will I find there???

Yup, it is by the beach and facing MOunt KK...

Good feng sui, according to the lecturer, Haha....

I think Phang Cheng's got his first "star", Hehe,

UMS have their own aquarium...

See the sea of yellow-coloured-batik-wearing people...

The hall can sit around 5000 people, cool place to hold a concert....

We had riadah on the second last nite, aerobics lar...

This is one of my favourite....

For the last nite there was performances by the Art faculty...

It was great actually....

This is the traditional Iban dance....

w3LcoM3 tO 5aBaH

Woohoo...
Thank God I finally got the line...
Well,
Really doesn't seem like it,
really cant believe it,
But Uni LIFE has indeed started for me...
Well, how do I feel after a week???
Well, It's a mixture of emotions, really...
I actually kinda like the place,
(wont say love first)....
The orientation, a lot of the taklimats, to be honest, it is SUPER BORING....
And also my dorm is in a really bad state....
Other than that, I like my Uni,
It's by the beach and faces the mountain too...
The people here especially the locals are really friendly....
The seniors here are also really really helpful....
WOuldn't survive without them around to help, guide and advice me...
The facilities here is super cool too...
There's an aquarium, there's rock climbing,
and the Biggest rounded shaped hall compared to other U's is here too....
Well, as for Uni life, hmmmm....
Am actually getting used to it...
Hand-washing your own clothes and stuff like that...
But am enjoying it,
just that I do also miss Kluang and everyone back home...
this would be the biggest challenge for me la...
Not being able to see the people dearest to me as often as i can anymore...
but Thank God for Phang Cheng...
At least there's someone here to make me feel that home is not too far away...
hehe....
And I also thank God, he has really blessed me in so many ways...
the walks back to my hostel talking to him really is amazing....
To everyone back home,

MISSING YOU GUYS....

DO PRAY FOR ME,

THAT GOD WILL SUSTAIN ME AND HELP ME SEE AND FULFILL MY PURPOSE HERE IN UMS AND IN SABAH....

LOVE YOU GUYS MUCH....