nOTHinG...

Ever heard people using this word as an escape answer??
"Hey, what you guys talking about?"
"NOTHING!!!"
Hehe...
Well,
It's the 1st of March,
yet another month,
my last post was in Feb,
also on the 1st....
Honestly,
feel a bit 'guilty' sometimes as to the frequency of my blog updates...
Seeing people like Joel and Gideon update their blogs is simply amazing....
Salute them la...
I have nothing...
It's not that my life is a boring mess or something, hehe...
It's just nothing lor....

Bloggers should understand this when you just dont have anything to write,
putting down one's life into words requires more than just having something to write about,
call it lack of inspiration,
or lack of feel,
or whatever,
yup....
For now, that's just the state i am in now.....
God Bless the Bloggers!!!:)

fEBruArY 1zt...

It's February the 1st...
Which means???
It's the end of a month and beginning of another,
DUH!!!
Haha...
BUt then,
Cant believe it's a month already...
It didnt seem that fast at first,
not until now when I look back,
WOW,
A whole month of January is gone already...
Told ya time flies faster then jets:D


Anyways,
I would not say it's a GREAT month or anything,
but it was good...
Hehe...
Because God has been GOOD to me....
Ya,
I mean anyone can say that la,
but then,
till you REALLY experience it,
you would agree too....

Going through this month was not all fun and games,
Had quite a challenging time settling down...
What's more after one of the most amazing and fruitful holidays I had...
Mornings are especailly hard....
There are mornings when I SPRING out of bed,
and be ready for a new day....
But then there are mornings I sluggishly drag myself up and dread....
Lets just say,
life isnt always good to me....
But GOD is!!!


God truly taught me a valuable lesson...
Moods and emotions are many times uncalled for...
Sometimes because of circumstances,
situations, environments,
people, ESPECIALLY people,
memories or maybe even Hormones that affect your emotional status for that time....
It isnt wrong to feel that way,
it isnt our fault to be angry, sad, depressed, down or "Emo"....
But then,
the lesson here was that, though we dont always "Make" the emotion,
we can always learn to "DRIVE" it....
It isnt always our decision to be SAD....
But it is our decision to take the next step,
to either continue being SAD,
or CHEER UP....


God really rebuked me when I was here...
He showed me the unpredictability of our feelings towards life....

Sometimes, life feels like dead lizard....

We dread it, it stinks, it feels as though one is rotting inside out....
Nothing to look forward to, nothing to keep you going,

only the Stench....

SOmetimes, life feels like the sky,

Amazing, beautiful, a sight to see...

But then you never know when the clouds will come,

bringing darkness and gloom as the light vanishes a little at a time....

SOmetimes life feels SWEET...

Like all kinds of chocolate, cakes, pastries....

But sweet till you "jelak"....

Too sweet it becomes bitter....

Sometimes, life feels like a present,

surprises awaits, challenges to face....

BUt till disappointement comes when we realize what is outside does not make the inside....

Life is unpredictable....

The emotions that result from the circurmstances and situations we face in life is even more SURPRISING....

Humans can feel up at a time,

and suddenly feel down after a second...

Girls and guys alike(Please la guys, admit you are emo too, sometimes worse than girls)..
But if we just keep that negative emotion within and allow it to stay,

it will GOVERN our life...

It will TAKE CONTROL....

GOd taught and is teaching me to TAKE CONTROL of my emotions...

Drive it where it is suppose to be...

Mornings are always a challenge,

but then,

this is my decision,

no matter how i feel,

let me start this day with a SMILE:D

P.S. Meet Quaky(below)... He's a mutated penguin.... My very first birthday gift i recieved this year....

bAnGsA? aPa?

It was my second class of Hubungan Etnik(Ethnic relations)...
Basically what we learn for this class is understanding other Kaums(races),
Learning to live together,
Learning to WOrk together.....
Our lecturer is one of the coolest lecturers I've known so far....
He really knows how to teach....
Not the sitting-down-reading-from-book type of lecturer,
but one who stands up,
walks around,
connects with students,
relates current issues to the topic,
and makes the whole subject lively,
enjoyable and fun...
And to add on to that,
he's from KLUANG....
STK some more...


Anyways,
During the class this past wednesday,
we were talking about Bangsa...
He was talking about how in the forms we fill in all around Malaysia,
whether is for applications of jobs,
or whether is for I.C or driving license,
there will be a slot that writes "Bangsa",
and the 4 choices usually given is this:
Melayu, Cina, India, Lain-lain...


So he went round the class asking 3 different person a question,
A Malay, A Chinese and an Indian
"Apa Bangsa Kamu?"
The Malay replied:"Melayu"
The Chinese:"Cina"
and i think you can guess the Indian's answer as welll..
Hehe...

3 different people,
3 different races,
same question,
different answers,
but same concept behind the answers,
and after that,
our lecturer concluded all the answers to be
WRONG....


He then explained that all the answers given were for "Kaum",
not "Bangsa"...
"Kaum" only involves our skin colour,
the language we speak,
the culture we were brought up with,
and the roots of our family...
Whereas,
"Bangsa" does not look only at all the above,
but looks at the one thing we share in our diversity,
being a MALAYSIAN...


When he said that,
Time seemed to stop for a while,
to give me sometime to think,
reflect,
and let those words sink in...
I was shocked,
or more like in Awe by the answer he gave,
and after those few moments of thinking,
I just Couldnt Agree more...


This was the exact thing my brother once told me...
He said we are first Malaysians,
then Chinese,
or Malay,
or Indian,
or whatever race we are...
After this lesson,
it became more clear on what he said...


Malaysia is a blessed and special land....
After all the recent things happening in Malaysia,
it is sad,
but it is clear that living together in so such diversity isnt easy,
in fact,
it's a Challenge....
But we cant stop trying,
for the minute we do stop trying,
we lose the whole point of our land Malaysia....


So,
let us not focus too much on the "Kaum",
which shows how different we are...
But,
let us focus more on the "Bangsa"
which reminds us of the Significant thing we share,
being a MALAYSIAN....

I'm Proud to be One...
Are you?

Do U tRuLLy?

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter,

"Simon son of John, do you trully love me more than this?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

John 21:15-17

Seeing many blogs and stuff,
People writing about the new year,

About new year resolutions and stuff...

And there I was again,

thinking hard on what i should write to usher in the new year....

But instead of just oozing my brains for ideas,

I also thought and didnt want to write just for it's sake of writing only....

Last Saturday,

since there was no Ablaze,

we went over to join the Ignite service...

PAstor John spoke today on John 21....

While he shared i could sense it was directly from his heart,

I was really encouraged...

And during the sharing,

it dawned upon me about what I would like to do to kick start my year....

The thing that really spoke to me the most is these few words....

"Do You Love me MORE THAN THIS?"

"Do YOu TRULLY Love me MORE THAN THIS?"

As I begin this new year,

I want to start it by challenging myself about Love,

Do I really Trully LOVe Jesus More than anything?

KaWanKu..

We were in my Uni's aquarium and i was looking at some Fish,

DUH,

What else to look at in an aquarium rite?

Hehe,

Well,

Like i said,

was looking at some fishes,

and then dear Sze ying came tugging my hand,

"Kor Kor Paulus, come come, look look!!!!"

She brought me to one of the tank and this was what i saw....

I was staring at it a while and just before i could think of anything,

Sze Ying:" Look Kor Kor Paulus, they are like Best Friends, giggle giggle giggle!!!"

I laughed and smiled not only because the way she said it was so funny,

but I totally agreed on the picture's message....

I just HAD to take a picture....

Friends, FRIENDS....

It's such a treasure and desire and NEED for all humanity....

Myself personally,

I've looked,

I've searched,

I've craved,

I've done stupid stuff,

for FRIENDS,

to be able to have them...

When i was younger,

it was like life and death...

Companionship was SUper important to me,

till a point where i could DIE...

And many times,

I admit,

that sometimes it happens to me still up to this day...

But more than quatity I look to the QUALITY of a Friendship...

To me,

I always believe friends are not just people you hang out with,

you spend time with,

you do stuff together with,

you share a common interest,

but as much as all mentioned,

is a friend that SHARES his LIFE with me...

These are friends I hold dearly,

so dearly to me...

They are the ones I really am encouraged by...

And honestly speaking,

I would not be able to move on in life without friends like these...

For the past year,

God has really been teaching me about learning to trust in Him,

and at camp,

he reminded me about how I should not be so influenzed and controlled by the desire of friends too much...

I'm learning...

BUt still,

Friends mean so much to me,

And i wont deny it...

It's just how GOd made me,

a guys who desires to

Connect,

Share,

and Go Through Life with....

I thank God for each of YOU!!!!

U tHeRe, U DaRe??

Praise God!!!
Praise Him for another camp...
This is my 7th one so far...
And till now,
I've never regretted going any one of them....
I mean,
people can say it's the same camp over and over again,
but then I always believe it's the attitude behind it,
it's how one approaches the camp...

THis year,
i thank God for the opportunity to be part of the committee...
It was hard work,
but it sure paid off...
I learnt so much,
struggled so much,
and believe that now,
I HAVE COME OUT STRONGER...
God really taught me a lot through this experience,
I was STRECTHED....

But apart from the challenge of preparing the camp this year,
God still challenged me....
He challenged me in many ways but mainly in 2 areas...

Firstly is when Pastor Daniel talked about fitting in,
about not wanting to feel rejected and by succumbing to peer pressure just so we can fit in....
He challenged all of us about how we should not cling on so tightly on the world's acceptance,
but on GOD...
HOnestly, this has been and still is one of the biggest struggles of my life...
I struggle so much to want people to accept me especially in my younger days that many times i dont realize i still do it now...
Sigh,
It's indeed a sad part of my life...
Many times even now,
I still just do things just so i can blend in with those close to me,
even though i dont really like to do those things...
BUt for this whole year,
God has been challenging me to find who i really am....
And be who He made me to be,
camp was an important reminder and confirmation on that...
As much as it is hard to overcome this,
In HIm I can DO ALL THINGS....

The second thing was when Aunty Dorcas prayed for me...
The challenge or Word for me was to bring the presence of GOd with me wherever I go,
and how do we do so?
We bring the presence of God when we learn to FEAR GOD....
My prayer is that more and more I would be able to bring God's presence whever I go to be able to usher his kingdom into places and people who are yet to be touched by HIm....

Overall,
I had loads of fun,
and it was fruitful,
apart from ministry and messages,
another thing i look forward to so much during camp is Friends,
and not just FRiends,
but Brothers and Sisters from all over the country that loves GOd....
To me,
being together with a brother or a sister in Christ just refreshes me....
Not only those from different towns,
but also those from Kluang...
It is just a relationship that gives me such goosebumps that trully is really really dear to me...
And I thank God for making new friends....
I pray we will continue to spur one another up for His Kingdom and HIS SAKE....

aBSence...

Yup, it's been a while since I've updated my blog,
Funny,
have been back over two weeks now,
and some how I cant think of anything to write...

I did mention to myself before that I wont "pressure" myself to write...
If I get something,
I write,
If not,
Dont lor....

To me blogging isn't my best thing and it isnt priority,
Hehe,
Yup,
But will see,
it has been great to be back,
and it's gonna be a great December ahead...

Oh, Lord, take me through it YOUR WAY...